Happy New Year. There's hint of desperation about this season's traditional greeting. A hope against hope under lowering skies as we sink into the long hangover that follows the festivities, the time we call January.
At the risk of condoning self-medication, if there ever was a moment we need a drink, this is it. And, of course, this is also when your pub needs you most.
Yet this is proclaimed the month of detox, to use the fashionable term. People stop drinking, go on a diet and join the gym. As if they're determined to make January even more grim. The fools.
Nevertheless, some of my best friends are detoxers. One of them used to postpone his detox till February because it's a shorter month, betraying a fragile willpower.
There is a sort of logic to it, of course. An ascetic New Year is the price they have agreed to pay for December's indulgencies, the deal they make themselves for feeling free to let their hair down, the opportunity to claw back the weight gains and the cash losses.
And when it comes to drinking, it's a chance to repair their livers.
Or is it? As the nation made its alcohol-related resolutions the British Liver Trust told them they were wasting their time. Or worse.
"Detoxing for just a month in January is medically futile," said Dr Mark Wright, consultant hepatologist at Southampton General Hospital. "It can lead to a false sense of security and feeds the idea that you can abuse your liver as much as you like and then sort everything else with a quick fix."
Now, much as I dislike the idea of a January detox, this is high pomposity. If you want people to take better care of their health you should be respecting their efforts. However misplaced, they are making a public display of their will to behave healthily. Doctors should be embracing the decision, encouraging them, using it to open a dialogue. Not dissing them and making them out to be stupid.
Incidentally, the British Liver Trust is not immune to making daft mistakes itself. In the same press release it calls its own Love Your Liver campaign Love Your Lover. Though that's a good idea, too.
Love Your Lover. I'll drink to that, any time of year.
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